he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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