I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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