Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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