The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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