im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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