do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
