Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
