im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
