I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
