great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
