Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
and i looked up. we had an audience...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
