Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
