Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
