butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
