I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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