he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
