Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Four minutes until I can fart!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
