Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
