Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
