Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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