O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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