I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
