I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
