I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize