Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
