I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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