How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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