Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
