I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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