omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Green mimosas i think yes
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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