I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
