I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
