my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
