That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You are the jesus of drinking
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
