So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
