i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
