im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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