Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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