She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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