But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
