I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
