I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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