I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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