WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
