So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
