I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize