I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
