trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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