Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So vagazzling was a success
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
