That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
