In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
