I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
