even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
