Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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