I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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