Ambien. No doubt about it.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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