i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
