i already hear my dad disowning me
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
