I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I touched a dick in church today
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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