I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
