You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
