I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
