I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize