She is in my trunk
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
