if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
