I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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