Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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