He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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