This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Don't make out with my wife yet
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
