i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
