my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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