i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
