Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Randomize
