Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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