vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
